Movies Opening This Week: Where's Ahnuld Edition

If Arnold's buttocks was the reason you wanted to watch the next Terminator, then you must have issues. Not only should you know that it lacks the present Governator, but you simply just have issues.

Termintor Salvation

The first Terminator to not have Arnold, the second to not have James Cameron at the helm and the third to have a big-ass budget, Terminator Salvation will by no means haul a load of dough all the same.

Anyway, it's set in 2018 with Christian Bale f-bombing his way against Skynet in a desolate world ruled by the organization and its Terminators. He's not alone, in fact, Christian Bale as John Connor is the leader of the resistance against the Skynet tyranny. Obviously, with a director like McG involved, it will probably have a load more action than there will be story. Just some proof to that McG claim: he's the director of Charlie's Angels.

Despite that, I'm still gonna want to watch this- and in a theater, although personally, I might not be able to do just that. If the film gets what it wants- which is money- then the new gang will surely be back. With or without at least a cameo from Arnold.

If Terminator was a preview at the future (although it's true that it also involves time travel), then this next movie will let you look at the past as you would in a museum... only more animated.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

I have yet to watch the high-grossing predecessor, but I do know that my sister didn't really like it, and the critics didn't really like it either.

Again, it builds up on the first movie's premise of museum figures coming to life. Not only is that logically idiotic since it's not actually the real historical figures in a cryogenic state and just plastic replicas, but it's also just a cash-in... an attempted repeat performance at getting more money.

How they got so many great actors and actresses is just beyond me. True, Ben Stiller is also a great guy, but he's only at his best when he's the director of the movie. The real surprise here is the inclusion of Amy Adams, Ricky Gervais, and Hank Azaria (although he's only great because of his voicework in the Simpsons)! Just... wow. Obviously, they used the box office returns to make a bigger, and questionably better film.

If history ain't your thing, then a spoof might make your day... or not.

Dance Flick

While dance flicks are truly bad and worthy of parodies, the Wayans Brothers' inclusion simply squashes all hope of a truly great parody. Yes, White Chicks was a guilty pleasure of mine, but after watching the trailer... I didn't really laugh much. This is the kind of humor my brothers would like though.

WTP: The Dark Knight Re-release

What's the point?

You do know about the so-called "Oscar buzz" the Dark Knight is getting but that's just the result of fandom. Unfortunately, Warner Bros. has tricked itself into believing that The Dark Knight is Oscar-worthy by planning to re-release the movies in theaters in the next year for Oscar consideration. I'm kind of fine with that, except for one thing...
...the DVD has already been released. I even have an original copy in my hands. (Borrowed for ripping 'cause I'm cheap)

So what's the point in trying? Heath Ledger already got his Golden Globe nom, isn't that enough?

Mean Girls... game?

OK, Nintendo is a company who does casual and hardcore gaming right. But in a time when casual gamers overpower the hardcore, the companies now flock to the land of opportunity just so they can make a quick buck from the mostly gullible soccer mom audience.

There have been failed attempts at this, most notably uhhh..., wait, has there been any epic failures in casual gaming lately, or is it just me?

Anyway, Paramount Pictures have been making some head-scratching decisions, this is one of them.

"Why don't we resurrect our old franchises and make a quick buck out of them? Come on! There's the nostalgia factor! And why don't we just put Mean Girls in since it was such a successful chick flick, eh?"

That or they were probably smoking crack. And that's because they're making Clueless, Pretty in Pink and Mean Girls into "games". Yeah, it's like they're thinking Dirty Dancing made any profit.

If you forgot (I just got all this info from RT, not a big fan of chick flicks), Clueless is that ever famous '95 chick flick featuring Alicia Silverstone as a Beverly Hills socialite taking care of the lives of others but not hers. It's a satirical teen comedy that is also a Jane Austen (Emma) adaptation.

Meanwhile, there is this other film called Pretty in Pink released in 1986. Actually, it's considered a classic and is about a girl named Andie who is a good student. She develops a crush on Blane, a guy who hangs out with rich, haughty kids- the kind of crowd she (and the traditional best friend) can't stand. They fall in love with each other, but Blane listens to the advice of a friend and breaks that special prom date off with Andie. What'll happen next, how the hell should I know?

And lastly, the more recent Mean Girls. Critics claim that the famous Lohan film scores with better than average writing and a vast coverage of topics ranging from race, class and homosexuality. So, Lohan is Cady and she meets the most popular girls in school, the Plastics. They set rules, they do stuff, etc. etc.. However, she also likes another clique called... wait, there's no info about that, so I'll just say, a clique of punks and rebels composed of Janis and Damian. But wait, where's the conflict, you ask? Well, it's the fact that these punks and these titular mean girls hate each other, what's more, Cady's crush is friends with the Plastics! What to do?

So OK, I'm spending waaay to much time with these synopses, but to be back on topic: these games will be $$$hit.

Oh, and here's another piece of $$$hit!

Castlevania Judment.

Don't the Japanese ever learn?

But OK, maybe it's not Namco (makers of the atrocious Soul Calibur Legends), but I know Konami is better than this! An effing fighting game, seriously?

Maybe it's because of the fact that, oh, it's for the Wii! Yeah, another way to make a quick buck by making better games on the DS and then tricking the Castlevania fans who own a Wii into this potential piece of crap? Not a chance.

Unless it's actually good, I still don't have faith in Wii fighting games- except Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I mean, look at G4's hands-on remarks:

"Although this is a 3D versus action game, it plays pretty much like a fighter. You shake your Wiimote to perform your basic attack, then you can customize your moves by pressing down combinations of the Wii’s buttons, and hit C to wield your character's ranged attack. There are super-attacks if your bar is totally powered up, and they're filled pyrotechnics.

...

As far as the fighting itself, with our limited play time, we treated it like a button masher…or more accurately a Wiimote swinger--While we’re sure the game wouldn’t respond like this on harder levels, as far as the easier opponents we fought, random swinging was enough. We played as Maria (love that owl!) and basically shoved the Wiimote around randomly and hit buttons quickly and were able to dispatch a couple opponents without much trouble."

Yeah, they hated it.

Finally, something that seems sensible.
So there's this guy named Wesley. He sees Angelina Jolie and his life changes as he becomes an assassin.

Yeah, sounds like the type of game that seems formulaic at best.

It is reported however that Universal Studios is investing heavily into the development of this movie tie-in, however, so I'll keep an eye on it, just in case.

While we're on the topic of movie tie-ins...
Gary Oldman reportedly lifted a little curtain as to whether the recent record-breaking blockbuster, The Dark Knight, will have a game. It seems that it indeed will have a tie-in that will be released when the DVD comes out. Interesting.

If you didn't know, Oldman plays Commissioner Gordon in the 2 most recent Batman films: Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, as well as other roles such as Professor Snape in the Harry Potter series, etc.

While we're on the topic of Batman...

Chrisitan Bale gets arrested!

He was reportedly arrested by the police who were in turn summoned by his family following the actor pushing his mother, Jenny Bale while arguing.

The reason behind the spat is not being divulged, but it seems to involve the whole Bale clan.

More legalese!
Nintendo's Wiimote can possibly get banned in Texas due to the fact that they lost to copyright infringement claims by a company called Anascape. All Wavebirds (GameCube wireless controllers), regular GameCube pads (WTF do they have to do with it?) and the Wiimotes get banned in the US if they didn't pay.

Coincidentally, Anascape just charged Nintendo while the Wii is still printing money. If that's not called taking advantage of a situation, then I don't know what is.

Wii gets Dead Rising

It's a game that's driven by numbers- it's Dead Rising!

People say it's a great, funny survival horror game where you can use almost anything at your disposal in the mall to fight off hundreds of zombies. It'd be interesting as to how this game will fare, since the Wii is definitely a more inferior system.

Expect it to have the same graphics as Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition, since the engine running that game will run this one as well. Personally, I'm looking forward to it.

Lastly, a tragic death.
My father especially loves to import old comedies from Hong Kong. One of them is a grand little series called The Golden Girls. What's tragic is that Estelle Getty, the purportedly 80-year old mother of one of the characters of the film who in reality is younger by a year than that other actor, has died from advanced dementia at about 5:30 am.

It's a shame since her character was my favorite because she was really sarcastic- I love sarcasm!

The Dark Knight Review

The Dark Knight
Starring: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Maggie Gylenhaal, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine
Released by Warner Bros. Pictures

In a nutshell: A movie that transcends the genre, and almost, almost a masterpiece.

After watching this a while ago, I have to admit that I found it to be a tad bit overrated, but nonetheless, a great movie. It's obvious that I've hotly anticipated this movie for quite a while, and I'm glad to say that the wait was worth it.

Story
Set one year after Batman Begins, The Dark Knight has Batman doing what he does best: beating up the baddies and tying them up for police capture. One unprecedented thing that happens however, is that although it was Bruce Wayne's original vision for Batman to become an inspiration to the helpless citizens of Gotham, it only spawned some imitators instead as seen in the first scene.

The thing is, however, his example has influenced District Attorney Harvey Dent to take a stand against the crime wave hounding Gotham, but a new threat lurks among Gotham in the form of the Joker- a smart, flawed and psychotic man of his word.

Still, Rachel, Batman's ex-girlfriend, is dating Harvey so yeah, Wayne definitely has some issues.

Psychotic
Now, this wouldn't be a review of The Dark Knight were I not to address the issue surrounding the performance of the late, great Heath Ledger. And with all the hype surrounding it since January, it would be no surprise if even professional critics got to discussing this point first. So now you're probably asking, "Was it worth the hype?".

My answer to you is a big, fat "Yes" and that's because his scenes are at times really intense, and you can even hear him and his saliva and making you think that he is indeed, a psychological mess. I mean, the Joker is indeed a nutcase, and even with all those past portrayals from Romero and the more famous Nicholson, Ledger's performance simply makes their names irrelevant, although that is not to say that Jack Nicholson is a lesser actor than Ledger, oh no, it's just that this Joker is definitely a believable, chillingly evil one that not only sends tingles to your spine at times, but balances it off with some dark humor that will guarantee your laughter.

Seriously, I was especially taken by surprise when during the part when people were being evacuated from Gotham General Hospital, a nurse that was taking care of Dent was actually The Joker. Wow, how slim is this guy?

Really, really long
People will probably be put off by the fact that the movie lasts 2 hours and 30 minutes long. But then again, Spiderman 3 was also 2 hours and 30 minutes long and it broke box office records.

Personally, I don't find myself really irritated by the length of this movie, but I think it would be a prerequisite for me to give you a heads up about this aspect. I mean, it does feel long, but the content is the thing that matters. Lord of the Rings didn't get that Oscar for nothing, you know?

Comments on the movie
I definitely liked the movie and frankly, it met my high expectations (although my expectations are higher for Wall-E). I mean, I never knew how the movie could tie Two-Face and the Joker's backstories together, but damn they sure did.

To be honest, I really find it hard to make comments about the movie because I risk spoiling everything for you.

With that in mind, I'm just gonna say that the action scenes are really good (the one in the trailer kicks ass) and you can see Christopher Nolan's increased confidence in his direction of these scenes, and that the movie simply doesn't care about no standards nor boundaries, it just does stuff freely, therefore it even transcends the comic book genre and the stereotype of the typical superhero movie which is mindless fun.

Intelligence
Now this is where the screenplay's intelligence comes into play. It does away with the unrealistic set pieces found in its predecessors (the Joel Schumacher and 60's movies) and goes for that gritty, realistic view of the world's current problem of crime and terrorism. What I mean by that is that this, sans all the technology blahs, can actually happen in real life when you think about it.

The fact that vigilantes, despite good intentions, could also be regarded by many as a villain, is a prevailing topic in this movie, and that in reaching towards a goal, the fact that others will suffer for your endeavor is simply the inevitable truth.

Other than that, witty writing also goes to its lighter, comedic moments such as Commissioner Gordon after "re-appearing". I mean, that pun I got an hour after watching the movie. Damn, I'm so stupid.

Also a case study?
You can actually consider this movie to be a case study not only between the relationship of the Joker and the Batman, but also the balance of nature: If there is one of this, there is also a contrasting that.

Another interesting case study made by the movie is the study of the righteous man itself, with Harvey Dent as Exhibit A and Batman as Exhibit B. They could either succumb to the temptation of revenge or go back to their senses and remain incorruptible- It's all about choice, and the resistance of man to sweet, but empty promises and words.

There are a lot of these to be found (I had another example in my brain, but I forgot because Nuevo buzzed me), and it would probably take a lot of analyzing and a second viewing to understand all the underlying themes the movie seems to tackle. Of course, I'll leave that to the nerds.

Simply intense
I simply can't express my feelings into words, so here I give you an almost accurate representation of how I feel, through a link. Yeah, it's not me, but it sums up almost accurately how I feel about the film. And that's not exactly bad either.

A minor annoyance
It's Christian Bale's Batman voice... it sounds like he should be doing Catman instead. -Growl growl growl-

Overall
I can't think very straightly since it's pretty late. But bottom line, this movie is the best superhero film ever made, and it even transcends into the ranks of The Departed and that's because it just feels so seemingly real, it's creepy.

Take note though that this movie is not made for audiences looking to have a good time, that's Mamma Mia's job. But if you are looking for something that's surprisingly thought-provoking and serious, this is the movie for you. Personally, this movie has kept me pretty satisfied, that is, until Wall-E.

The only thing that scares me now is if Nolan will return as director next time! Tim Burton also made the darker movies in the early days, but after making 2 Batman movies, he was booted off. Hope Nolan doesn't meet the same fate (although I've heard he only chose to reprise his directorial role in the resurrected Batman series because the script, or rather, concept appealed to him). This, of course, is a great new addition to his budding resume, and I'm looking forward to the next Nolan film.

Rating: 9.5/10