Movies Opening This Week: Where's Ahnuld Edition

If Arnold's buttocks was the reason you wanted to watch the next Terminator, then you must have issues. Not only should you know that it lacks the present Governator, but you simply just have issues.

Termintor Salvation

The first Terminator to not have Arnold, the second to not have James Cameron at the helm and the third to have a big-ass budget, Terminator Salvation will by no means haul a load of dough all the same.

Anyway, it's set in 2018 with Christian Bale f-bombing his way against Skynet in a desolate world ruled by the organization and its Terminators. He's not alone, in fact, Christian Bale as John Connor is the leader of the resistance against the Skynet tyranny. Obviously, with a director like McG involved, it will probably have a load more action than there will be story. Just some proof to that McG claim: he's the director of Charlie's Angels.

Despite that, I'm still gonna want to watch this- and in a theater, although personally, I might not be able to do just that. If the film gets what it wants- which is money- then the new gang will surely be back. With or without at least a cameo from Arnold.

If Terminator was a preview at the future (although it's true that it also involves time travel), then this next movie will let you look at the past as you would in a museum... only more animated.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

I have yet to watch the high-grossing predecessor, but I do know that my sister didn't really like it, and the critics didn't really like it either.

Again, it builds up on the first movie's premise of museum figures coming to life. Not only is that logically idiotic since it's not actually the real historical figures in a cryogenic state and just plastic replicas, but it's also just a cash-in... an attempted repeat performance at getting more money.

How they got so many great actors and actresses is just beyond me. True, Ben Stiller is also a great guy, but he's only at his best when he's the director of the movie. The real surprise here is the inclusion of Amy Adams, Ricky Gervais, and Hank Azaria (although he's only great because of his voicework in the Simpsons)! Just... wow. Obviously, they used the box office returns to make a bigger, and questionably better film.

If history ain't your thing, then a spoof might make your day... or not.

Dance Flick

While dance flicks are truly bad and worthy of parodies, the Wayans Brothers' inclusion simply squashes all hope of a truly great parody. Yes, White Chicks was a guilty pleasure of mine, but after watching the trailer... I didn't really laugh much. This is the kind of humor my brothers would like though.