Movies Opening This Week: It's hard not to get sick of George Clooney

As we delve deeper into Oscar season, more exciting movies get pushed out. While I personally am very excited for next week's The Lovely Bones, we still have some George Clooney to keep us entertained. But really now, how many movies should he be in, in such a short span of time? Have you noticed? It's like Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Men Who Stare At Goats, and now this:

Up In The Air
A test of how much more of George Clooney you can take, this Jason Reitman flick seems to be a well-written piece of corporate fun.

Basically, Ryan Bingham is an expert at corporate downsizing operations (err, firing people to save the company money) and he has learned to embrace life on the road. However, a girl who is tasked with the same job is hired to go along with him so he can show her the ropes, and it seems that he's met his perfect female counterpart.

But judging from the trailer, the movie looks like it will have yet another awesome soundtrack, great writing and performances, and maybe a life lesson or two.

I'm looking forward to watching this one, even if it's not in that "anxious" kind of way.

The movie, while looking Oscar-worthy, is bound to have some competition. Is Brothers gonna be it?

Brothers
Not really.

I mean, yeah, it looks like it's gonna have some good performances, but it doesn't mean that the movie is gonna be an instant Oscar nominee. There's something about it that strikes me as overly soapy, but hey, who knows what'll happen in the actual movie, right?

The premise is that it's about a family. Dad goes to Afghanistan while uncle helps in taking care of the family. They think dad is dead, so uncle and mommy go to bed. Dad suddenly opens his eyes and wants to talk to mommy. Chaos ensues.

I think Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal... are credible enough to be brothers. Natalie Portman, though? She's a tad too pretty to be convincing as an army wife. That aside, though, I think it's gonna be the kind of movie that'll only hinge upon the performances of the actors... I'm not even sure if the movie will go well at all since I think that from the trailer, there will be a few contrived moments.

Speaking of contrived, how about this next movie?

Armored
Starring a surprising cast of talented actors, Armored is the newest movie by director... Nimrod Antal who made Vacancy. Now I'm just gonna contain myself over here so as to prevent myself from making sophomoric jokes about his name, but really, has anything done by a nimrod sounded good? The credit of directing "Vacancy" doesn't exactly bode well for the movie either.

Dumb judgment aside, this inside job looks to be a reasonably watchable film. Basically, it's about this guy who's short on cash. This same guy is a new recruit in the armored truck delivery industry, and with the help of a team, they engineer the perfect heist. But things go wrong when an innocent comes in the foray, increasing the risks of everything falling apart.

There'll most definitely be some contrived high-tension sequences, but I don't know. I don't think it'll be bad at all.

Still, don't even watch the trailer. For crying out loud, it reveals the whole movie, which is probably why I do not even mind if I miss this or not. Hell, it even looks derivative.

I'll be damned, however, if I didn't say Robert De Niro's new outing was derivative either.

Everybody's Fine
Oscar season also coincides with Christmas season, and usually the movies that are about Christmas are crappy. Look at Deck The Halls or Christmas with the Kranks. Despite that, however, Everybody's Fine doesn't seem to be, thankfully enough, of the same mold.

And for good reason. It features an all-star cast consisting of fan-favorites Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale and Sam Rockwell, a relatively credible director (Kirk Jones) is at the helm, and it's actually a remake of some Italian film. OK, maybe the word "remake" doesn't ring well in the ears, but you gotta love how subtle and light the tone of the movie is.

This will obviously be a feel-good movie, but I think I feel like wanting to watch it. It's not an urgent craving to rush to the theater, but when it hits on DVD, I might grab it. I don't know, let's just see how it fares with the critics when it opens up.

But from derivative, we scrape to the bottom of the barrel. That's right, kids, it's time for another crappy parody movie!

Transylmania
While I'm thankful that someone finally milked the idea of making fun of the vampire trend, a lot of YouTube videos are just funnier than this. I mean, good God, this movie is just looking plain awful.

Set in a college located in a cursed land, Transylmania is a movie that basically makes fun of vampiric romance... that's kinda it, really. There's nothing else to it but some immature sexual innuendo and maybe a tinge of pop culture.

If there's anything that redeems this movie, it's probably gonna be the original title... and maybe the fact that it doesn't throw as many pop culture figures at our faces and call it funny.

Other than that, I have no clue as to why there's any appeal to it. Might as well call it Vampire Movie, then.

Movies Opening This Week: Taylor Lautner. Nuff said.

Doing this post has been the last thing on my mind for the past few weeks, but I'm gonna make up for it this time by actually just covering all the movies that just got released last week, in addition to the ones that are about to be released.

Oh, and I just want to flame on...

New Moon
Summit Entertainment's vampiric juggernaut of a franchise makes a return a year after its debut, but this time, it's obviously drawing more people (its midnight run overshadowed Dark Knight and Harry Potter) but it could most likely be attributed to one thing: Taylor Lautner. You know, that dude from the utterly despicable The Covenant? Only buffer? Yeah, he's so buff it's enough to draw in the gals into the theater without having to know any of the mythos (Twilight has mythos?) of the quadrilogy of books that spawned this piece-of-crap film. Hell, he's so buff it's enough to derail Robert Pattinson's spotlight just because his scrawny, sickly torso fails to match the almost weirdly sudden growth of physique in the "native American".

The trailer itself makes it clear that the film is not going to be viewable without at least watching the first movie. While the action sequences and special effects look improved, I still can't say that I'm itching to watch it. I might watch the actual movie saga someday out of curiosity, but that'll have to take long.

Enough about vampires though, why don't we talk about ninjas or assassins?

Or both?

Ninja Assassin
The Wachowski Brothers have a pretty spotty record as far as movies go. They pretty much gained worldwide acclaim with a sci-fi classic, the original Matrix, followed it up with the passable sequel and ended it with a pretty crappy 3rd act. In between, there was V for Vendetta which I actually liked, and in '07 there was Speed Racer which was more of an LSD trip than anything. What does this have to do with anything, you ask?

Korean singer-actor Rain has a role in Speed Racer, but the brothers apparently saw some potential in the man. Now they spawn a love-child: Ninja Assassin. Product of multitudes of Asian stereotypes? I think so.

So... yeah, let's see now. A guy called Raizo is a special killer of a gang but he's betrayed by the gang so he swears revenge. Not really new, but the selling point over here will probably be the action and knowing the history of the directors, there's probably gonna be a lot of bullet-time too. It's strikingly fake-looking in the trailer though... but I'll reserve any more judgment until I see this film.

But you know what else isn't new?

Old Dogs
Disney's follow-up to the startling hit Wild Hogs has John Travolta and Robin Williams starring as, what else, middle-aged men who are buddies.

Williams' character, Dan, is a man who doesn't seem to have a wife so he's not great with kids while Travolta's character, Charlie, well, I'm not sure about his role in the movie. The buddy, I guess.

Plot comes in to test the friendship when Vicki comes along to see Dan. And now she has kids-- his kids.

A screenplay that somewhat resembles Daddy Day Care ensues. Dan has to take care of the kids for a while while Charlie is gonna... be the uncle, I suppose. The two, along with some other guy, go through misadventures that simply has hilarity written all over them. Heh heh heh heh... not.

But wait a sec, BERNIE MAC is in there? When did they shoot this movie?

Dangit, I'm lingering on this movie for too long. Why don't we just get on to a different animal?

The Princess and the Frog
Considered a return to basics for Disney, the legendary animation style that this new release possesses is not without its new-age flourishes, and what I mean by new age is the fact that it's the first Disney movie to ever feature an African-American princess. And you know what, it's kinda promising.

It's basically a twist on the story of the Frog Princess. Kiss the frog, frog becomes human, happily ever after. But not in this movie, this time, the princess who kisses the frog becomes a frog as well (reminds me of Shrek 2, for some strange reason) and they track down the cure so they can become human again. Oddly enough, I'm fascinated as to how the new movie will delve into more of the "wizard's" backstory since nobody has never really known much about how the prince became a frog in the first place.

Pleasantly expecting a classically good time, even though I don't expect it to match the quality of past Disney 2D flicks.

So okay, since we're technically on the topic of African-American's, why don't I just end this bad segueway right here and just talk about Sandra Bullock's 3rd major starrer of the year:

The Blind Side
You know what this movie just reeks of? Oscar bait.

Still, it's probably what Sandra Bullock needs right now, especially after a disaster we shall not name.

It's the true story of African-American football player Michael Oher who comes from a broken family and adopted by the thickly Southern Touhy family. Not excited, but I don't think it's crappy either. Time will tell although it's enjoying some rave reviews right now.

But how about a movie that I'm sure will garner a lot of rave reviews?

The Road
Starring Viggo Mortesen and Charlize Theron, The Road is a thriller by author Cormac McCarthy that's set in post-apocalyptic America. It's like Fallout, so to speak, but this time, it's more thrilling, more realistic and more grounded.

Frankly, I think this is a movie to watch. The trailer is darn convincing, and it's been getting some rave reviews all around. Will it win an Oscar like another Cormac McCarthy adaptation No Country For Old Men?

No, but it's looking damn close.

Left 4 Dead? - Movies Opening This Week

A lot of variety this week: zombies, roller skates, capitalism, toys and Ricky Gervais.

Zombieland
A movie that will remind you of what was probably 2008's best online multiplayer game, Zombieland is a horror-comedy that's surprisingly garnering critical acclaim. Wow, I really underestimated it.

It's one of those movies that will put zombie killing in a light atmosphere. It doesn't seem to strive for a B-movie parody look, just full-on stylized zombie-killing action, video-game style. Will it feature inventive kills? Hope so.

Whip It!
Drew Barrymore's directorial debut stars Juno's Ellen Page and, uhh, Drew Barrymore as roller derby girls. Well, actually Ellen Page's character Bliss is a Texas girl who's tired of being pushed around by her parents to participate in pageants. Now, she wants to find herself and that is exactly what she gets when she joins a female roller skating group.

Sad thing about the trailer is that it's horribly edited, meaning that the whole movie is basically spewed out over here. I recommend not watching it, but I guess you didn't bother reading this part first.

It's garnering some good praise, so it might be something to watch. I'm not particularly excited for it, but the story is pretty unique and interesting. I have a feeling that it'll be conventional and schmaltzy in the end, but there's always a chance that the spunky attitude of the cast may transcend that. That, and Drew Barrymore has starred in enough schmaltzy movies already.

Toy Story 1 & 2 Double Feature
It's hard to go wrong with not one, but two classic movies going back to theaters for the price of one. While some may say that this is just a plot to milk some more money pre-Toy Story 3, the experience of watching these great flicks in the theater all over again equates to a great nostalgic feast for the senses (and the opportunity for the youngun's the experience them like never before) especially since they have all been remastered in 3D.

You can't go wrong with the name Toy Story, and if the double feature is released as is over here, I might even watch it in a heartbeat... or just weep over these VCD's and VHS's. Damn it, I need to get some DVD copies.

The Invention of Lying
Ricky Gervais' new comedy The Invention of Lying is a high-concept premise that, you can say, actually just relies on one joke. However, the gifted British comedian probably knows more than that, and the trailer shows it.

Set in a world where lying is totally non-existent and everyone is just frank, Invention of Lying has Rick Gervais' character Mark sick of the crap he's getting from everyone, and he wants to do something about it. Since everyone believes that everyone else is telling the truth, Mark takes this to his advantage and uses lies to progress through the world. It features an attractive all-star cast with the likes Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill, Rob Lowe and Tina Fey so it definitely is a must-watch for me.

If you had to put the critics in the mix, they'll say that it's funny all right, but it relies heavily on the rom-com cliches as well which is good enough for me considering the genre. Hell, even the trailer says "This is the greatest movie even made" as if it was an admission of guilt.

Capitalism: A Love Story
Michael Moore returns with another documentary this year entitled Capitalism: A Love Story. Knowing Moore's style, this film is obviously going to be his subjective take on the global meltdown and its effect in America.

I can't say that I'm particularly excited for the film since I can't exactly relate to it, but I can say that if you want to learn more about the global meltdown, this isn't the best starting point.

Jennifer eats Meatballs, if you know what I mean - Movies Opening This Week

Some apt innuendo may be in store for a movie that somewhat reminds me of the premise for a certain horror movie Teeth. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, then you probably have not heard of...

Jennifer's Body
Megan Fox plays a high-school girl who gets possessed by a flesh-eating demon. And yes, she's Jennifer.

She's friends with Amanda Seyfried, a geek, who later discovers that she's not only "high school evil", but "evil evil".

The thing about Jennifer is that she lures boys into a little intimate room and, well, sucks the meatballs out of 'em. Seyfried's character finds out that she's going for his boyfriend, so she must now stop her.

Something of note is the fact that Diablo Cody, Oscar-winning writer of Juno, is penning the screenplay for this one as well so expect a lot of pop-culture references and some preggo eggo's. This isn't exactly a full-fledged horror movie, but more of a horror comedy.

So how about something to eat that's not human?

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
An intriguing title with an intriguing premise, this CGI movie is an adaptation of a children's book that's about a scientist/inventor who wants to be celebrated and known throughout the world. He's had inventions that have gone wrong, but when the city undergoes a drought, the scientist figures out a way to make water into food. It launches into the air, and it actually works.

There must be a catch though, and that's too much food. Now, the inventor is on a quest to stop the machine, to purportedly hilarious results. It looks like a decent movie to watch with kids, but it's not as funny as it could've been, at least from the trailer.

Enough talk about food though, let's talk business.

The Informant!
Sporting a distinct exclamation point at the end, this Soderbergh-ian film stars Matt Damon as a bumbling fool who somehow becomes a corporate whistleblower.

Damon seems to know how to balance his stupidity well, as he doesn't go to the point of annoying. The script looks well-written, and the aesthetic is quite gorgeous. Could be a must-watch.

Ruining the movie - Movies Opening This Week

There was a time when Sandra Bullock was the queen of the rom-com, but when she decided to "quit", she kind of became a bit obscure. Now, she's aiming for a comeback at what she does best. She seemed to do it well in The Proposal, so why not her next movie...

All About Steve
I actually got a bit of faith when I saw the trailer for The Proposal. Bullock was at her best, and her costar Ryan Reynolds was actually a good choice for a partner since they exude a certain chemistry. Granted, I've yet to see the whole movie, but that trailer does give you an adequate enough inkling of what seems to be a harmlessly light and fun movie.

This one doesn't, but it'll make a crapton of money anyway.

Basically, All About Steve sees Sandra Bullock become a stalker to a guy (Bradley Cooper) she gets set up with one night (and yes, she stalks him because she is in love with him). Thing is, Bradley Cooper doesn't feel the same for her, especially since she doesn't particularly look very flattering. With Bullock in tow, you'd probably expect a bit of funny, but the trailer ruins practically what looks like the entire movie, thus making it look extremely disappointing. It's like one of those "5 Second Movies"... it's that badly edited.

The big draw here is actually Cooper though, because he'll be the one who'll draw the women to flock to the theater. Come on, admit it, it's true. They won't be there to just watch the movie, because they've seen it all before! They'll be there staring at him every step of the way, and they'll likely act like Bullock throughout the movie, I reckon.

Personally, I'll just catch this on Quiapo "Blu-ray".

For the men, they'll probably skip this one and maybe even go see...

Gamer
Gerard Butler is back in action with a movie about games. It's not based on an actual game IP as far as I know, but it's about an uber-realistic video game character called Kable (Butler) looking for freedom from the player who controls him (through Natal?). Thing is, Kable's not just some ordinary video game character, he's actually a death row inmate. Policy in this world is that a death row inmate will be controlled by a player, and when they survive the "game" for 30 days, they're set free.

While one can legitimately call this premise high-concept, I don't think it's particularly groundbreaking though. Hell, it's kind of unethical, maybe even a bit allegorical. The not too original execution is the worst part, though. Reminds me of the not too hot Death Race what with all the inmates.

Maybe you want something lighter, though? Well, how about a comedy called...

Extract
Starring Jason Bateman, this comedy is about a factory owner who has to contend with problems both at home and work. Nothing else is very special about it... trailer does seem mildly funny though.

OK, this one probably made you feel numb and indifferent, so maybe it's okay if we just went to horror territory to make you even numb-er. You wouldn't feel it since you're already numb anyway.

Carriers
An unoriginally boring pandemic "thriller", Carriers is about a group of people who try to help the sick people, but end up having to control them because they become zombies. Sound familiar? Because it is. I think it starts with a number... oh yeah, 28.

It would've been right to just shelve it forever, and that's because this has been in the back-burner for quite a while... apparently since '07! Obviously, this is pre-Star Trek Chris Pine, so don't get your hopes up, and get ready to just sleep through this derivative film.

What, no Mecha-Hitler? - Movies Opening This Week

Last week saw the release of a highly-praised sci-fi film District 9, today we see a highly-praised Quentin Tarantino film, and it's called...

Inglorious Basterds
Movies about Nazis are not particularly original, but when you put Tarantino and his wild movie geek imagination in play, you get a pretty different take on something cliche.

Basterds, while fictional, is about a team of Nazi killers who, obviously, want to kill Hitler since he killed many Jews (and yes, the Basterds are Jews). They meet a girl whose family is killed in front of her, and she too seeks out her revenge in her own way.

Expect a lot of (likely well-written) dialogue in this film, as well as a little bit of those explosions and violence, I guess. Personally, I think Brad Pitt sounds like a Southerner than a... uhh... what nationality is he supposed to be anyway? I think I heard the Germans say Yanks, so... I guess it's valid.

Long story short, I want to see this movie. But what I don't wanna see is...

Post-Grad
I've seen this movie before, I just can't get myself to remember. Maybe a mix between Devil Wears Prada and all of the rom-coms I've ever watched with a smidge of the premise of Adventureland. But then again, just because you've seen something before, doesn't mean it's bad.

But does that stand true with this one?

I say no and that's because it doesn't look like it was made with any effort at all. Even the critics agree that it's "unambitious and lightweight". The trailer does have some funny parts, but it's not exactly anything terribly exciting.

There's also nothing terribly exciting about the more modern horror movies these days. Case in point:

The Final Destination
Judging by the title, it seems to be a reboot of a dying series. Ironic since it has the word "final" on it, but not surprising since Square has already been there done that.

Also "been there done that" is this film. Come on, you don't think that everything they'll do will be the same tired shtick everyone else has been whoring out for years?

But given the benefit of the doubt, I guess the movie's gonna be gory and more exciting in 3D. No doubt it's gonna be exploited but hey, horror in 3D is a path not always traveled. At least not in this century.

But hey, why not see the future of the reboot by looking into the sequel of another horror reboot? Yep, it's...

Halloween 2
Rob Zombie returns to helm the sequel to his reboot Halloween. Thankfully enough, it at least looks like there was a bit more effort during production, but it might be due to Zombie writing it.

I thought that it would be a bit more promising until I heard about that sister thing. Come on, isn't this something you reserve for the actual movie and not the trailer?

Regardless, it could possibly be fun, I have to admit. Still, what does it have that the original doesn't aside from the addition of a Miss Myers?

It's time to kill yourself. - Movies Opening This Week

It seems that several movies have shifted their release dates (probably due to fear that GI Joe will squash them terribly), namely Shorts and Paper Heart as featured last week. This week, however, Summit Entertainment has nothing (READ: everything) to fear as it is now releasing...

Bandslam
Did someone in Summit Entertainment think that they would actually be able recoup any production money with this movie? Personally, I don't think so.

Even if it has Vanessa Hudgens and a Mi-chuchu (I don't care to bother spelling her name right), those two names don't exactly bear a bankable aura. But enough about the business side of this movie, what's more important is the fact that Vanessa Hudgens still effin' sings! Horridly!

Seriously, white people rapping? Again?

It feels as if this movie should've be like a partnership between the Disney Channel for a made-for-TV movie or something. Seriously, I predict that this movie will bomb both commercially and critically. No question.

But a lot of questions will be raised once you watch...

The Time Traveler's Wife
Anything that has to do with time travel is bound to be incoherent or at least, convoluted, and the science-fiction-romance-drama that is The Time Traveler's Wife doesn't seem to be doing anything to correct the notion.

It stars Eric Bana as the time-traveler and Rachel McAdams is his wife. In various stages of her life, Henry, Bana's character, dissolves and lives his life through different timelines, which if you were in his position, would be rather annoying. Anyway, Clare, McAdams' character, makes an attempt to live a normal life, consistently glowing husband notwithstanding. Reminds me of Benjamin Button, kinda.

It would be interesting to see if Audrey Niffeneger's best-selling novel would stand its own in the big screen.

What's more interesting for me, though, is the Peter Jackson produced...

District 9
Deviating completely from his Oscar-winning LOTR films, Peter Jackson is now producing first-time director Neil Blomkamp's District 9. It's a sci-fi/horror/pseudo-documentary style film that talks about a slum-like district reserved for aliens.

Not much has been spilled plot-wise, but early reviews have stated it as "thoroughly original, super-realistic... that should be applauded as loud as we can" and "intense, graphically novelistic and just funny enough to keep you entertained even when the subtext is very serious". So yeah, keep an eye on this film. Seriously.

Movies Opening This Week: Robert Rodriguez's spoiled kids

A lot of movies to cover this time... but perhaps an always major release is a new Robert Rodriguez film, because Rodriguez films are usually good. He's dug from the bottom of the barrel with the horrible Lavaboy and Sharkgirl and appealed the B-movie sensibilities of the critics with the underappreciated Planet Terror, but one thing remains for sure: he's a pretty big inspiration for indie filmmakers everywhere.

Still, why steal Meryl Streep's spotlight though? More on that later...

Shorts

Once again taking inspiration from his kids, Rodriguez's new film is about a stone that's able to grant wishes. Somewhat reminds me of the premise for Transformers 2, because everyone's trying to get and all, and hopefully it will also have the same surprising adult humor that the Spy Kids films possess (minus the third film, that is).

To be honest, however, I doubt it. Who knows though? The man is a pretty good filmmaker for the most part. He just listens to his kids a bit too much.

Julie & Julia

The first Meryl Streep flick of the summer, Julie and Julia is about a secretary named Julie Powell who aims to flip through the entirety of Julia Child's French cookbook in a year for her blog. Along the way, she learns that cooking is not all about pots, pans and groceries. In a weird twist, the movie also focuses on Child herself, and how she came to be such an inspiration for Powell and her experiment.

This is actually quite interesting because both lead very separate lives, and yet there are some similarities between them. I'd like to see if the movie works... though it's rather unfortunate that early reviews of the film, while positive towards Streep's performance as usual, aren't very impressed with the finished product. Really, Nora Ephron doesn't have the cleanest resume either. Her only good movies are You've Got Mail and Sleepless in Seattle. Her stinker? Well how about her more recent Bewitched? Whatever the case, I still have high hopes for this one.

Paper Heart

A few weeks ago, Michael Cera was with Jack Black and Harold Ramis. Now he's returning to Seth Rogen so he can make something genuinely funny. But wait a sec, this isn't even a comedy at all; it's actually a mockumentary that chronicles the life of a girl named Charylene Li. She claims that she doesn't believe in love, but when she meets Michael Cera, her beliefs go shaken.

It looks pretty interesting and cute... something you'd take a date to or something. Early critique has been extremely overwhelmingly positive, so it might probably be really good. To boot, Cera and Li have dated before thus they know each other, so expect the issue of comfortability and chemistry out the window!

There is an appealingly "guerilla" style to it that somewhat attracts me to it. Maybe I'll keep tabs on this.

Perfect Getaway

It looks like a film based on Lost without as much of the Sci-Fi, Survivor without the reality, and probably every other single survival horror movie out there. Yes, with nothing much special to bring to the table, it's the Perfect Getaway.

It features a pretty bland premise of a group of people finding paradise in an island, but it turns out that the island is nothing but. It suddenly becomes more dangerous as the body count ramps up, and in the end, two people will probably survive it anyway.

Nothing exciting, really. I have to give it to them for not spoiling the monster/creature/whatever that they're gonna reveal in the end though.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I can't really relate to the toy-based cartoon since I didn't watch it when it was still on channel 5, but I do know that many people just feel very nostalgic about the brand. So why not ruin your childhood with a live action remake?

The gang is pretty much back and played this time by a surprising cast of credible actors like Sienna Miller and Dennis Quaid (or at least this guy was credible), and they're here to, what else, defeat Cobra Commander. Action scenes look decent (but the ninjas look silly), but I don't know what to say about the story yet so... uhh, I got nothing to say since I've only got a 30-second trailer to work with.

Directed by Stephen Sommers (The Mummy), it looks like a decent summer flick at best, and a toy resurrection (to cash in on) film at worst. Will the early good reviews be enough, or will it suffer the same fate as Transformers? Well, all I know is that I think Stephen Sommers is, safe to say, a better than director than Michael Bay, so... why not give it a chance for now?

Movies Opening This Week: Those Graphics Were Great Edition

Another year, another Nic Cage movie. Wait a sec, didn't I already say that last time? (No, I didn't... And kinda did.) Anyway, the man gets a bit of a lower sense of prominence since his new movie is a bit more of an ensemble piece... and did I mention it was in CG?

G-Force

Disney's at it again with their CGI crap, and now they're kind of cashing in on the success of the Bolt's own hamster character. But unlike that good movie, this movie will definitely, simply suck. I mean, come on, hamsters that are super-spies escape their prison (a pet shop) and save the world from a big baddie? Really?

Ultimately, it's geared for kids, thus the premise. With that in mind, I'll just say that... the graphics are pretty great-looking.

But enough child's play, let's go to a movie with... uhhm... a child.

Orphan

Esther is mature for her age, but when you insult her, you're a dead bitch.

Apparently, this movie's marketing is leaning strongly on the Esther character. Why does she act like she has PMS? Why does she kill people? Well, we'll find out when the movie opens then! The editing of the trailer is really good as it sets an intense mood, but will the film hold up?

Truly, it reminds me of movies like The Orphange or hell, Dark Water among many others.

I wonder if they'll use guns to kill her?

But I do know one movie that uses a lot of guns, and that's the high-profile Public Enemies.

Public Enemies

Michael Mann returns from his Miami Vice slump with this new movie starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale-- probably two of the biggest actors right now. I know a lot of people will flock to the theater just to see the star power, but personally I think I'm gonna wait for the DVD.

I've heard a lot of the reviews stating that Johnny Depp is a bit subdued while Christian Bale is uninteresting. I'll let my eyes decide when I watch it, but these two adjectives are not exactly the first things that come to mind when you come up with such a cast. Other things that spring to mind include the fact that it's only shot on a consumer HD camera. If you're gonna make Crank, fine, use the cheapest HD cam you can find. But if you're making a period piece such as this, you might as well kill yourself. I mean, we're talking about Michael Mann here, so there's probably gonna be a handful of intense gunfights. But what good are these nicely choreographed shots when they're blurry and pixelated?

Damn it, I'm talking too much right now. Maybe I'll lighten up with a little Gerard Butler...

The Ugly Truth

To tell you the truth, I don't understand how the title applies to the new romantic comedy. I mean, it's not like there's a mystery to it.

Set in the modern world, it's about a producer named Abby (Katherine Heigl) who falls in love with the surgeon next door. She looks for advice in the form of "love guru" and sports commentator Mike (Gerard Butler) who promises to spill the beans about sexual tension, men and women, etc. etc..

Obviously, this is gonna be the same fluffy, light, typical rom-com fare. But I think it will be good only because Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler are pretty charismatic. You've seen this movie before, but you probably never saw it with these two, so it's safe to say that it just might be slightly above mediocre. Of course, I'm just judging from the trailer because it's admittedly pretty funny. Who knows if the movie will actually be crap?
This movie also reminds me of another one... can't really whip up its name though.

Movies Opening This Week: Critics Go Spellbound edition

Harry Potter movies have always been the epitome of what a summer movie franchise should be: enchanting, frenetic and entertaining. While the movies also have the tendency to be rather long, it has never stopped anyone from busting their wallets out. The new movie is no exception.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (July 16, Thursday, Philippines; July 15, US)

The highly-anticipated, long-delayed sequel is finally coming, and it seems as if it's geared to be the best of the series. Early reviews are already giving a bit of Oscar buzz to at least one character ("Jim Broadbent does 'Best Supporting Actor' level work here. It's a master class in how to make the most of every moment onscreen without ever once overpowering the film around him." -Drew McWeeny of HitFix.com), and critic aggregator Rotten Tomatoes currently ranks it with a rather stunning 96% rating. True, it definitely will not stay that way as the movie opens to everyone, but it's already rather compelling to just watch it on opening day just because of those reviews-- and maybe that trailer too.

Quite frankly, I've always remembered book 6 as a rather slow-moving book. It's not my favorite (even though it does present a huge revelation that affects the entire series), but the movie seems to make it brilliantly epic in scale while retaining the dark, but humorous elements that people have come to love. I think David Yates is now comfortable with the cast, and is now able to make an even more capable movie, so gauging from early praise, I'm now even more excited to see what he'll do with the last chapter (or in the movie franchise, the last two chapters).

Movies Opening This Week: From Yagshemash to Vassup? Edition

Before I get to this week's opening flicks, I'll have to apologize for my 2 week absence due to unexpected circumstances. It would've been fun to make fun of Transformers 2's noisy trailer, and comment on how unexpectedly low Public Enemies' Tomatometer is. But enough about them, let's get on with an even more outrageous character...

Bruno
The outrageous Sacha Baron Cohen is at it again with a new creation. After Borat, you'd expect that everyone would be able to see through his shtick, but as his new movie suggests, people haven't, and that's because Cohen is so good with the improvisation thing that he can still keep his character even when a stripper is threatening to ruin his real-life marriage with Isla Fisher!

The real goal of Bruno, like Borat before it, is to act as effective social commentary. Are people who claim to be pro-gay, really pro-gay? How about all those prejudices that people hold with regards to race, adoption and other issues? Well, get to see it in Bruno- which will probably make you hurl and laugh at the same time with its sheer offensiveness. Prediction: it will also make a killing in the box office.

Bruno is actually enjoying a lot of rave reviews. True, it's not as universal as the original and relatively revolutionary social experiment-cum-movie Borat, but rave reviews are rave reviews. Still, you'd probably want to stay in the safe side of movies for now, and I've got the perfect thing for you...
I Love You, Beth Cooper
With a relative unknown as the lead, you'd think this movie would suck. And quite frankly, the trailer doesn't exactly change my mind.

At least they get points for trying to be more creative with the initial plot, though. The movie starts with a graduation, and when the valedictorian gets his chance to speak, he professes his love for the school's most popular girl Beth Cooper, played by Heroes' Hayden Panettiere (I spelled that wrong, didn't I?). Unexpectedly, Cooper decides to go to the nerd's house to show him the night of his life.

Quite frankly, Paul Rist looks just unbelievably old for a high school graduate. I would've believed him more if he were a college graduate, but I guess it was the way he plays the nerdy persona that got him in the role... or something. That goes for Hayden as well! Ain't she tired of playing the same archetype over and over again?

Whatever the case, I'm sure love heals all wounds even after you get hit by the side of a car!

Sigh, next week will probably be much more epic. Why? Harry Potter, of course!

Movies Opening This Week: What's Wrong With Canada? Edition

In TV and the movies, a lot of people are not exactly fond of being deported. I can understand if their country has the image of a hellhole, but is Canada really worth leaving when it seems to have such a pretty nice and clean reputation? And how about that free health care?

The Proposal

Obviously, a rom-com will be the last place you'd expect anybody to discuss the weird irrationality of the wrongness of Canada... or Alaska for that matter.

Set in a premise that probably any Canadian immigrant would relate to (yes, there might've been a hint of sarcasm), The Proposal stars the Sandra Bullock as the witch boss Margaret and Ryan Reynolds as Margaret's employee Andrew. Margaret apparently is a Canadian, and she has to be deported for some reason. Her solution? Marry the next guy who opens the door, who by the way in real life is pretty much Canadian. What an ironic turn of fact and fiction.

Predictable, this will be. Charming? Well, Betty White is.

Why don't we go back to simpler times? Why do people have to care about immigration and nationality and citizenship anyway? Why can't we go back to...

Year One

OK, maybe that's going a bit too far. But if Jack Black and Michael Cera were our ancestors... uhh... we'd probably all get along and be funny all the time. Maybe some will even go as far as becoming a funny criminal mastermind. That's why we have the Joker right?

Lame joking aside, Year One is actually kinda funny. It's basically about two people who go on a "road trip" through different periods of time. They meet some rather familiar characters and go through some rather familiar key situations in history that kinda shaped humanity forever. Basically, this is Jack Black's take on history. And I don't know how far they'll actually go with this, but I don't think there's any remote sign of aging.

I have to admit, the trailer made a laugh a bit, but I'm not sure if it exactly warrants a trip to the theater. Still, with the king of awkward Michael Cera and the king of loud Jack Black together, the pairing may likely cause much hilarity. You know what, I'm gonna wait for the reviews because I kinda like what I see in the trailer.

Movies Opening This Week: Where's The Joke Edition

Another year, another Eddie Murphy flick. Is it funny? I don't know, I didn't see much of the jokes in the trailer of his new family film...

Imagine That

Now he's taking a break from playing multiple roles and putting on prosthetics for something you could call simple- a harmless family film... with a gangsta kid or something.

Quite personally, the trailer didn't make me laugh once. Even the most obvious joke, the one with the "What am I, the Queen of England?", didn't make me laugh. My take is that it will be some harmless flick that is in nobody's radar, and will be reminiscent of Bedtime Stories minus the box office returns. Honestly, I didn't really get the premise of the movie when I watched the trailer, I just assumed that what his daughter drew was true. Wow, sounds like something that could've been better off in a horror movie.

Alas, this is at least an original script (but not much of an original film). The next movie opening in theaters everywhere is actually a remake of a classic book that was made into a classic film.

The Taking of Pelham 123

Denzel Washington and John Travolta star in a thriller about trains in Pelham station in the Bronx. Basically, Denzel plays the good guy named Walter and monitors train routes and stuff. Travolta is obviously the bad guy as marked by his sinister facial hair. This guy leads a hijacking of train 123. He wants money. They give it to him- or at least try to do so- because if not, a passenger dies.

My God, it sounds like a great premise for a really sadistic reality show. But then again, the movie has potential, I guess. With big names like that, it better be at least half-decent.

Movies Opening This Week: Matt Lauer Can Suck It Edition

Getting lost in another time dimension with Will Ferrell is probably gonna either have to be funny or just annoying. I don't think anyone can really have both.

Land of the Lost

Based on the TV series of the same name, Land of the Lost stars Will Ferrell as ridiculed scientist Rick Marshall, and he believes that time warps do exist. Of course, proving they do is gonna be hard, but that all changes when he and his crew gets sucked into one. Quite obviously, all sorts of stuff happen, and they'll have to fight for survival albeit "humorously".

It's a bit hard to determine as to whether this movie will bomb or not, because it has the equal opportunity to do both. Being unoriginal doesn't really help the movie, because it seems to just follow Journey to the Center of the Earth's template of "go and explore a scientific discovery and get back to Earth but only after you deal with dinosaurs and the like" (and you can just as easily see Brendan Fraser in the lead role).

Perhaps your money will be spent better elsewhere unless you watch with family, and by family I mean with your 10-year-old (or ADD-ridden) siblings.

My Life In Ruins

Written by and starring the writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Nia Vardalos, this comedy has her in the shoes of a character named Georgia. Georgia has lost her zest for life because she thinks it has no direction and thus decides to become a tour guide.

Eh, looks like all those other romantic comedies. Nothing much special except Greece.

Well, there's always a chance of it becoming an unprecedented hit, I guess. We'll just have to wait and see.

The Hangover

Getting a hangover in Greece would probably be a lot better than having one in Vegas, but for these guys it isn't the case.

Doug's about to get married, so it's par for the course that he get a bachelor party the day before. Unfortunately, they drink one bottle of beer too many and end up with a disaster they have to sort out before returning to the wedding. For instance, a 6-month old baby, Doug getting married to someone else, and the police hunting them down for a Holocaust ring, among other instances.

Whose baby is it, and how will they get back in time for the wedding?

Early reviews of this movie have been quite positive, so there might be something about it that the director did right.

Movies Opening This Week: To Hell and Back Up Edition

Usually, I get hella excited every time Pixar releases a new movie, but this time, I'm a bit... "weirded out" by the venerable studio's new quirky creation...

Up

Basically, it involves a grandpa named Carl who wants to go on a journey. Initially it was supposed to be with his wife, but since she died, he's gonna go alone... or so he thought.

Russell, a by-the-book boy scout he knows scout stuff but can't do them, accidentally goes with Carl to a ton of places and they meet a cast of quirky characters along the way.

How the hell did Carl get his house to fly? He's a balloon salesman! -facepalm-

I've been skeptical about a Pixar project before though, so I don't think Pixar will do wrong.

Notably, it's the first Pixar film to be made in 3D- as in they made the "with glasses" version first and made the "without goggles" version last. The 3 Toy Story's are actually gonna be getting the same treatment. And yes, that's three Toy Story's.

But if you thought a balloon salesman using balloons to lift his house is overkill, check out this old lady in...

Drag Me To Hell

Sam Raimi's taking a break from Spiderman and going back to his expertise- horror. Of course, the man's produced some horror films during his time with the superhero, but this is his return to directing them.

The story to this movie alludes to America's current economic situation by involving an old mystical woman who isn't granted an extension to her mortgage by banker Christine Brown. The old woman goes on overdrive and curses her until she gets, well, dragged to hell for all eternity.

Quite frankly, it seems rather creepy in the trailer, although there is quite an assortment of horror cliches hanging around. You know, bugs going in her mouth, dead people sleeping beside her, hands groping her while she's going to hell...

But if the claims of critics ring true for all those other critics, then it could possibly be worth a watch.

You know what? I'm gonna keep tabs on this.

The Brothers Bloom

I think the last time I saw Adrien Brody was in the Oscars, and he looked like he just woke up in a tropical island. I just assumed that he had the look for his role in this movie, but apparently not.

Moving on though, this movie involves 2 brothers who are also con artists. The woman they seek to con is Rachel Weisz's character who is somehow a recluse who collects hobbies, which is a hobby in itself.

Brody's character actually wants out of the business but his brother, Mark Ruffalo's character drags him back for "one last job". What madness will occur next?

I have a feeling that this will also involve Brody falling in love with Weisz's character and then he'll tell the whole truth and then they'll have a falling out and then bla bla bla bla, though. For all it's worth, it looks fun anyway.