Movies Opening This Week: Not Marley

It's so weird how 20th Century Fox, one of the worst studios ever, is also home to James Cameron. He's probably the only thing that keeps it alive, because all the other movies the studio releases are either kids films or stupid films. Oh wait, they're almost synonymous to each other in this case.

Marmaduke
This week's 20th Century Fox release involves talking animals. If you thought Beverly Hills Chihuahua was retarded, wait till you see this highly unfunny trailer.

Yeah... and how ironic is it that Owen Wilson, who once played dog owner in Marley and Me, is now relegated to just voicing a dog? Oh how fortunes change so quickly.

Speaking of Beverly Hills Chihuahua, George Lopez is also playing a role here, but this time, he's a cat. It's weird that most of his movies involve talking animals, maybe a bestiality fetish is in play?

Whatever the case, this next movie puts the beast in bestiality:

Splice
Starring Adrien Brody (perhaps to prove that he's gonna be awesome in Predators?), this sci-fi horror/thriller involves a scientific experiment gone wrong, and quite frankly, it's kinda creepy until the last bit of the trailer comes on.

This one involves two scientists who create a semi-human-clone that has a desire to kill, I guess. Not much is known about the monster's motivations (which is a good thing in trailer talk), so quite frankly, I'm actually a bit intrigued.

You know what isn't intriguing though? Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher.

The Killers
Not at all related to The Losers, The Killers is an over-the-top rom-com that involves some action... kind of like The Bounty Hunter but without the "my ex-wife is a criminal hurr hurr hurr This is Sparta" hook. In fact, Ashton's character probably isn't even a vigilante at all, and maybe a bit more of a criminal, I guess. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention to the trailer.

That said, the action scenes at least look watchable, so if ever you get dragged into this movie by a date, and you're a dude, you probably won't mind as much. Bonus points for using Psycho Killer as the trailer's song, even though it's pretty much the first thing that comes to mind when making a trailer of a movie that has a title called The Killers. Katherine Heigl is potentially annoying as the "girl who just broke up and is hopeless to find another love but finds one immediately anyway but suddenly finds out about her new boyfriend's shady background and is reluctant to hold a gun" though.