Movies Opening This Week: Scientologist Stalkers

Ahh, Tom Cruise. When did we last see that guy?

Oh yeah, he was Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder 2 years ago. A character now being developed in to a movie by Ben Stiller and Paramount.

In the interim though, what was he doing?!

Knight and Day

Whatever it was, it must’ve been quite similar to the premise of Knight and Day. He sat on a plane, stalked a girl, and shot guns all for the sake of Scientology. Plausible enough, don’t you agree?

 

 

That aside, I think this looks better than Killers. Also, I like Cameron Diaz more than Katherine Heigl, so maybe this is purely subjective conjecture.

Also, the action scenes look pretty decent, but the trailer just spoils a bit too much for comfort. It isn’t marketed as a particularly conventional rom-com because in essence, it feels more like Duplicity minus the empowered female agent character of Julia Roberts.

A little bonus is the somewhat conspiratorial vibe they’re going for; there’s something about it that feels as if it will spring a plot twist that’s LOST on you.

Ha! Get it?

Uhh…

Ba-dum-tish!

Grown-Ups

Adam Sandler and his posse of man-children (and notably, Rob Schneider and his first major movie since… who cares?) are old pals who meet up 30 years after they split. Since they’re wearing mourning attire, they probably shot it right after Chris Rock finished his Funeral movie, and man does this movie look insanely lame!

 

It’s either they’re saving the best gags for people to become surprised with, or it just means that the presence of Rob Schneider is but a bad omen to a potentially good, if not safe, premise. There will be obvious fat jokes, fart jokes, black jokes, and MILF jokes all around.

If you really want to watch a comedy though, get Get Him to the Greek or Cyrus, because while this movie’s jokes are probably legion, those two Jonah Hill movies are probably actually funny. Quality beats quantity. Two beats four. The works.