Movies Opening This Week: Funny? and Funny!

I love Everybody Loves Raymond, but for its stars, there's life after it, apparently. Life in 20th Century Fox's consistently hellish movie line-up, that is. After Ray Romano's return in what seems to be the worst Ice Age of the bunch, comes a totally new (but not exactly original) movie with Doris Roberts called:

Aliens in the Attic

Ever been with a grandparent who tries too hard to relate to you by alluding to popular, current stuff but ultimately fails because he/she simply creates an aura of awkwardness? Well, this is the closest you can get to replicating that scenario. It takes notes from various movies and crams in all the hip things you can mention in the side to form what looks like one of the most incoherent family movies ever made. I mean, if you sell a movie based more upon the "grandma kicks ass" scene than the aliens themselves, you'd know there was something wrong with the titular characters.

Hell, even the guy's crotch hitting scene wasn't convincing. Has he ever been hit there? And is there zero-gravity in Halo? Maybe Half-Life would've made the reference more convincing. (Correct me if I'm wrong though.) Damn it, this movie looks so bad that I won't even bother churning out a synopsis.

One thing I'd have to concede is that the "grandma kicks ass" thing works.Why? Well, it's probably because of Doris Roberts herself. What about her? I don't know, she just seems to emit a certain screen presence that will make you laugh. She just makes what would've been a really corny reference to Street Fighter that much less lame.

But do you know what would really be funny? A movie about funny people.

Funny People

A more subdued Judd Apatow movie that still surprisingly brings in some laughs, Funny People seems like it has the potential to become the best Adam Sandler movie. Why? It's genuinely funny but it has heart (and from what I see, I think there won't be as much swearing).

And yes, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Leslie Mann are in the bandwagon, as usual.

It's about a stand-up comedian who experiences a near-death experience. He tries to find the girl he loves and finds out that he already threw her away long ago. Now she's with Eric Bana sans the time travelling, and the comedian wants to get her back with the help of Seth Rogen's character.

It seems to have a really good screenplay, a really nice cast, and most importantly, funny delivery. OK, maybe the Australian accent part was a bit "eh", but the bottom line here is that it's really gearing to become a very, very good comedy. I simply can't wait to see it, and I'm wondering why it even fell off my radar.

Movies Opening This Week: OMG THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER Edition

This week's wide releases are rather... magical or just really bad depending on your tastes. But since the majority vote states the former, then I will "go" with the former... although I don't know how long I will last with my objectivity and unbiased-ness.

But before the real deal, here's an appetizer:

Observe and Report

Seth Rogen stars as a mall cop named Ronnie who is on a mission to find out the "pervert" who is after Brandy (Anna Faris). Perhaps, this is another one of those rom-coms that come in the vein of Zack and Miri Make A Porno, in a way.

Personally, I'm not that convinced with the trailer, but early reviews state that the director Jody Hill tries to redefine the comedy genre, and I'm in for something as ambitious as that.

AND NOW, I serve you not one, but two movies that are EXCITING, MAGICAL, AND AND AND AND AND MIND-BLOWING! IT'S LIKE, WOWWWWW!

FIRST OF ALL,

Hannah Montana The Movie

A tween's wet dream (Errr...), Hannah Montana The Movie must feel like Citizen Kane to them. Or maybe, that 3D concert was?

Anyway, Miley Cyrus returns to her blonde wig to play pretend as a celebrity called Hannah Montana. Truly, it's like Clark Kent. He just has to wear glasses to become Clark Kent, and remove them to become Superman. What is up with these people, anyway? How could they actually be so blind? Oh, and why does the blonde version of Miley Cyrus have to be the superstar persona anyway? Why not the brunette one?

Oh sorry, lost my composure there. I guess you can say that Hannah Montana isn't worthy of over-analyzation.

Umm, this here movie is about Miley doing what she usually does. But one day, Billy Ray over there gives Miley an achy-breaky heart by sending her to Tennessee, where she doesn't have a chance to get the star treatment (BUT THE TRAILER ALSO STATES OTHERWISE, I mean, ahem, ahem) and she has a chance to be just herself (oh yeah, that's original).

If there's a lesson to be learned in this friggin' masterpiece, it's that blondes have more fun. I mean, this thing was probably made because of the number of tweens who put on a blonde wig (perhaps even when they're blonde already) and sing and sing and sing and think that they sound good, (although for the record, Miley's voice sounds A LOT BETTER THAN USUAL in the trailer's song which is surprising) and the parents have become really, really mad and Disney caught wind of this and decided to make the story revolve around acting like one's self because they don't want to lose their cash!

Err, I mean, err... OH LOOK HERE'S THE TRAILER! DON'T FLAME ME, PLEASE!

Next "OMG AWESOME" film!

Dragonball Evolution

It's so... it's so... it renders me speechless, just... speechless. I'm just... blown-away by how everything in this film is just so... so... goshdarn creative!

Now, replace those italicized words with different ones... negative ones.

You know the drill: some evil thing wants to take over the world and Goku is the unlikely he- oh, it's not that kind of film? Oh sorry, I thought it was that kind of movie because of the hodgepodge of scenes that indicate convoluted sub-plots that eventually lead to that epic fight with that higher power. Oh, so it really is that kind of film? Fine, OK.

Really, does anyone really wanna watch this? There's a lot of promotion, and there's the name recognition (It really grinds me that they even spelled it incorrectly. Seriously, it's Dragon Ball. Not Dragonball. They should've at least made it DragonBall or something. Ah screw it, the title's all-caps in all the posters. It's as if they're shouting it: "DRAGONBALL EVOLUTION! HI-YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!") but seriously.

The seriousness of the moment escaped me by 0:09. Seriously, you'd think they'd put more personality to these people!

As a bonus, though, here's the real anime Goku with his reaction to the film.

Amen to that...?

Movies Opening This Week (Week 1)

I've decided to start a weekly post about movies I think will be good to watch. Of course, not all are guaranteed to be good especially since they're judged via trailers, but if history can attest, I've got a pretty decent track record of determining whether movies are gonna be good or not based from trailers. So here are some of the movies I think will be pretty good to watch this week(end):

007: Quantum of Solace
Hmm, we're getting Quantum of Solace earlier than the States. But whatever, I loved Casino Royale because it was a step in the right direction. Daniel Craig is hands-down, arguably the best Bond since Sean Connery. While the Bonds before Casino Royale were half-decent, Quantum of Solace looks like a worthy successor to Casino Royale. I mean, it is also the first direct sequel to a past Bond movie, so we're definitely seeing some big change in direction. From the trailer, I think it's looking a bit like this year's Bourne Ultimatum which was action-packed yet intelligent.


Zack and Miri Make A Porno
Even though I don't think I'll be able to watch this, the trailer is pretty funny.

Basically, it's about two best friends played by Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks who are in debt and just got their 2nd eviction notice. So to pay them all off, they're gonna make a porno. IMO, it's gonna have Seth Rogen toning down the swearing and it's gonna be a pretty distinct romantic-comedy, especially in comparison to the others that have come out this year.

RockNRolla
Guy Ritchie's back to form with his new gangster movie RockNRolla. And while it received some mixed reviews, I think it's something you should catch.

It's about a deal made between two people named Uri and Lenny. Uri wants help from Lenny to whom he promises to pay a large fee. And to let Lenny trust him, Uri lets him borrow his "lucky painting" for a while. But two robbers intercept and steal the loot during the transaction, so a series of spirally events occur, all which lead to a rock star who is presumed dead.

Changeling
A mother loses her child. 5 months later, the LAPD find her son, but she doesn't feel as if the boy is her son, thus, she goes to the LAPD to complain and she's assumed crazy. "Hey, it was 1928 at the time, so the police even bothering to listen to women was already lucky," was probably what they thought, so they put her in the psycho ward. But that doesn't stop her...

It's directed by Clint Eastwood, which is a bonus.

REVIEWS: Stories of hope lost, love forced, and premarital love...

I Am Legend
Starring: Will Smith
Director: Francis Lawrence
Summarizing Quote: "If I were to divide the film into, I don't know, 4 parts, I'd say that
3 parts of the pie was pretty damn satisfying, the denouement... not so
much."

Man, I got three introductions for this review in mind. One is the fact that the movie is a sort of reiteration of 3 (or was it 4?) past movies of different names, two is the fact that a movie with Will Smith on the cover is equal to money, and three, I actually liked Francis Lawrence, the director's, other work Constantine. And apparently, I've already combined them (3 intros) into one... But anywho,...

Will Smith's latest box-office blockbuster is about a scientist named Robert Neville who is trying to discover a cure for a cancer cure gone wrong in 2012. Well, it seems that the so-called cancer cure made people mutate into these nocturnal vampiric creatures who lust for healthy human blood and now, it seems that Neville is quite immune to it despite the virus being airborne and all.

In actuality, the movie is actually a sort of chronicling of a few days in the "last man alive"'s life, but that's the aspect that makes it so interesting. However, if I were to divide the film into, I don't know, 4 parts, I'd say that 3 parts of the pie was pretty damn satisfying, the denouement... not so much. Thrills were abundant, scares are pretty well placed, and there are also a lot of explosives.

Plus, Will Smith manages to carry the whole one-man show all to the end and projects his role pitch-perfect, and suddenly, the appearance of the girl and her son Ethan would be too good to be true and too... coincidental.

This is why I don't really like the denouement, because one would probably want to see how the scientist will end up by himself. But then again, the agenda would end too soon now, wouldn't it?

Besides that gripe, I see nothing wrong in the movie and is easy to recommend as well. Overall, I like it, and it is undeniably well made. And as a bonus, it offers thought-provoking insight as to how the humans will destroy themselves, possibly in the near future, and if it may indeed happen.

Rating: 8.5/10

Knocked Up
Starring: Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl
Director: Judd Apatow
Summarizing Quote: "It's full of the f- word, but once you learn how to appreciate and dig deeper inside that raunchy facade, you'll see a core story that's surprisingly warm and sensible."

Judd Apatow's follow-up to the critical success The 40-Year Old Virgin is quite full of it. I mean, the f- word. But once you learn how to appreciate and dig deeper inside that rauchy facade, you'll see a core story that's surprisingly warm and sensible.

It starts out with the separate lives of two different people. Allison, an up and coming reporter for E! News (yes, complete with a great performance by Ryan Seacrest and the E! Crew) and Ben, a drug-sniffing, carefree slacker. Their lives get tied by that fateful drunken evening and the one night's stand, then things start going haywire afterwards.

It's quite hard to appreciate especially if the dialogue's full of swear words, and sex talk, but the thing I see that makes it worth tolerating is the fact that its social commentary is quite effective in its execution, but the promised belly-laughs weren't present. It talks about love, life, giving up and taking responsibility for one's actions, or in this case, one's baby. But you know what, maybe I'll be watching this again so I can understand it further, because it's quite awkward watching this kind of comedy with my sister. Haha. Expect an update on this.

However, Heigl's performance was quite great and shows that she can take on roles other than an intern, or a bridesmaid. Rogen's also convincing as a slacker too because you can already see that quality in one glance.

Rating: not definite yet

December Boys
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe
Director: Rod Hardy
Summarizing Quote: "The several happenings that occur don't really confuse, which is a feat in itself. In fact, it's quite a bit charming, and the cinematography further increases its charm. The sappy story may bore some though, but it's still quite an interesting movie all the same.

"Oh look, it's Harry Potter!"

Oh sorry, I don't think Mr. Radcliffe doesn't want us to identify him as that forever.

You can't blame him for trying to deviate from the role that he has been known for. And that is why he has December Boys under his belt. It actually shows that he can be a competent actor in the future, but the movie... is just a tad bit too sappy.

Actually, it's supposed to be about four orphans (WHAT THE HELL DOES RADCLIFFE HAVE FOR ORPHANS?!) who were all born at the month of December (thus the name December Boys). They do live under a Catholic orphanage, but that doesn't mean they don't have vices, and they show that in the beginning, even if one of them aspires to be a priest. However, the sisters in the convent have granted them permission to go first for a little "vacation" in a place where the filmmakers can show their ultra-beautiful cinematography skills in Australia and meet two people who will be taking care of them- the cancer-stricken Skipper, and her husband Bandy. They also meet other entities in the beach: a daredevil cyclist and his unfertile (?) wife, a girl who is visiting for the summer, and a few old men.

There, the friendship of the four orphans get put to the test, especially when one of them overhears a conversation about adopting one of them. Making Maps' (Radcliffe) life further complicated and romantic was the blonde girl visiting for the summer named Lucy whom he meets secretly, and experiences with her a lot of "firsts".

More happenings then lead to many others, but the movie doesn't make them confusing to follow. in fact, it's quite a bit charming as well, and the cinematography further increases its charm. The sappy story may bore some though, but it's still quite an interesting movie all the same. One other bother is the fact that Radcliffe's star power can push the other protagonists away, so the balance, I feel, is a bit unequal, especially since Radcliffe isn't the real star here. Heck, an older version of another orphan is the one narrating instead!

It's good but not great. If you want better concocted coming of age stories, maybe you can try... Persepolis perhaps?

Rating: 7.5/10