iPhone App of the Week: Metal Gear Solid Touch

Kojima Productions and Konami made a big fuss out of the gaming world with a teaser that somehow implied that Metal Gear Solid would be ported to the Xbox 360. Everyone thought wrong when the reveal was made: Metal Gear Solid was getting an "installment" on the iPod touch and iPhone.

So now that it has been released for quite a few months, people have voiced out their critical opinions, and many say that the app just isn't worth the hype, and frankly, it's quite true.

But before I give my reasons, let's run through the way you play it first.

After you select a mission, you get this still image depicting a part of the story. True, it may not have as much impact as say, an animated video, but with the iPhone's bad 3D graphics, this'll do. Pressing "Next" will then give you the story in text, and when you press "Next" yet again, the game loads and finally starts.

Basically, all the objectives of all the missions involve "defeating" (a word we shall be replacing with "killing" from this point on) troopers from various groups in the Metal Gear Solid saga, and it's pretty much just that. Kill this number of troopers, kill this number of soldiers, it goes on and on.

This is the part where you take control of the crosshair. While you will control Snake, you can't control the direction he's gonna run because he's always just going to stay in cover. The movement that happens, happens off-screen, meaning that all that running with Big Boss' body just happen in the text you'll read. So, you just move your finger to move the crosshair then you tap the screen to shoot until the enemy's life gets drained. If you don't shoot them early enough, they'll shoot you back, but they'll only do so when a white meter (which turns red) fills up. However, there are also allies who come into the mix. If you shoot them, you lose a life. In short, it's kinda like Hogan's alley for the NES.

There's not much variety in that, so Konami decided to at least make a bit of an effort to put just that. Some mechanics include:

1) Pinching the screen to activate the sniper which enables you to shoot enemies that are too far for your ordinary gun.

2) Ducks and frogs you have to shoot for life bonuses and bazookas/invinsibility respectively

3) Just one different kind of enemy that is vulnerable to shots in the foot and spine, but they don't appear often.

4) The Drebin Shop lets you buy MGS art using "Drebin Points" you collect from each mission.

Perhaps the Drebin Shop is the only saving grace for the game, but even that thing only caters to Metal Gear Solid fans. I'll bet the diehards are the only ones who'll bother to collect "Drebin Points" to unlock all of the wallpapers, because frankly I've only been able to "buy" the Snake wallpaper, and I don't intend to go any further than that.

In the end, you'll find the rewards of the Drebin Shop to be pretty lame, because you can just collect them off the Internet and call it a day. Hell, to add to the fan service, there's even an "MGS History" which summarizes the stories of all the past Metal Gear Solid games!

So I'm not necessarily recommending this app for iPhone/iPod touch owners, but I'm recommending this for diehard Metal Gear Solid fans. Still, if you've got nothing to do, this game is pretty playable, and you don't need to read the story parts to play this, as the story doesn't lend to much in this decidedly action-oriented game. It's only pretty good, and the game doesn't really go beyond "pretty good". In fact, it dangles in between the line of "pretty good" and "really lame".

Rating: 6.5/10

Metal Gear Solid, 360? Really?

Remember that naughty teaser Konami put on its website?

People all thought it was finally a port of the in/famous game Metal Gear Solid 4 for the X-Box 360, which was of course long-rumored. Unfortunately, it kinda isn't.

In fact, it has nothing to do with full-fledged consoles at all, just a pretender. And it's the iPod touch and iPhone. Yep, Metal Gear Solid is coming to the iPod touch and iPhone. The official name of the game? It's lame. Metal Gear Solid Touch. Yep. Metal Gear Soli- OHHH WHO AM I KIDDING.

I AM EXCITED.

Now as a consolation for the disappointed 360 owners out there, you deserve some concept art for Metal Gear Solid on the 360 at least.

Mean Girls... game?

OK, Nintendo is a company who does casual and hardcore gaming right. But in a time when casual gamers overpower the hardcore, the companies now flock to the land of opportunity just so they can make a quick buck from the mostly gullible soccer mom audience.

There have been failed attempts at this, most notably uhhh..., wait, has there been any epic failures in casual gaming lately, or is it just me?

Anyway, Paramount Pictures have been making some head-scratching decisions, this is one of them.

"Why don't we resurrect our old franchises and make a quick buck out of them? Come on! There's the nostalgia factor! And why don't we just put Mean Girls in since it was such a successful chick flick, eh?"

That or they were probably smoking crack. And that's because they're making Clueless, Pretty in Pink and Mean Girls into "games". Yeah, it's like they're thinking Dirty Dancing made any profit.

If you forgot (I just got all this info from RT, not a big fan of chick flicks), Clueless is that ever famous '95 chick flick featuring Alicia Silverstone as a Beverly Hills socialite taking care of the lives of others but not hers. It's a satirical teen comedy that is also a Jane Austen (Emma) adaptation.

Meanwhile, there is this other film called Pretty in Pink released in 1986. Actually, it's considered a classic and is about a girl named Andie who is a good student. She develops a crush on Blane, a guy who hangs out with rich, haughty kids- the kind of crowd she (and the traditional best friend) can't stand. They fall in love with each other, but Blane listens to the advice of a friend and breaks that special prom date off with Andie. What'll happen next, how the hell should I know?

And lastly, the more recent Mean Girls. Critics claim that the famous Lohan film scores with better than average writing and a vast coverage of topics ranging from race, class and homosexuality. So, Lohan is Cady and she meets the most popular girls in school, the Plastics. They set rules, they do stuff, etc. etc.. However, she also likes another clique called... wait, there's no info about that, so I'll just say, a clique of punks and rebels composed of Janis and Damian. But wait, where's the conflict, you ask? Well, it's the fact that these punks and these titular mean girls hate each other, what's more, Cady's crush is friends with the Plastics! What to do?

So OK, I'm spending waaay to much time with these synopses, but to be back on topic: these games will be $$$hit.

Oh, and here's another piece of $$$hit!

Castlevania Judment.

Don't the Japanese ever learn?

But OK, maybe it's not Namco (makers of the atrocious Soul Calibur Legends), but I know Konami is better than this! An effing fighting game, seriously?

Maybe it's because of the fact that, oh, it's for the Wii! Yeah, another way to make a quick buck by making better games on the DS and then tricking the Castlevania fans who own a Wii into this potential piece of crap? Not a chance.

Unless it's actually good, I still don't have faith in Wii fighting games- except Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I mean, look at G4's hands-on remarks:

"Although this is a 3D versus action game, it plays pretty much like a fighter. You shake your Wiimote to perform your basic attack, then you can customize your moves by pressing down combinations of the Wii’s buttons, and hit C to wield your character's ranged attack. There are super-attacks if your bar is totally powered up, and they're filled pyrotechnics.

...

As far as the fighting itself, with our limited play time, we treated it like a button masher…or more accurately a Wiimote swinger--While we’re sure the game wouldn’t respond like this on harder levels, as far as the easier opponents we fought, random swinging was enough. We played as Maria (love that owl!) and basically shoved the Wiimote around randomly and hit buttons quickly and were able to dispatch a couple opponents without much trouble."

Yeah, they hated it.

Finally, something that seems sensible.
So there's this guy named Wesley. He sees Angelina Jolie and his life changes as he becomes an assassin.

Yeah, sounds like the type of game that seems formulaic at best.

It is reported however that Universal Studios is investing heavily into the development of this movie tie-in, however, so I'll keep an eye on it, just in case.

While we're on the topic of movie tie-ins...
Gary Oldman reportedly lifted a little curtain as to whether the recent record-breaking blockbuster, The Dark Knight, will have a game. It seems that it indeed will have a tie-in that will be released when the DVD comes out. Interesting.

If you didn't know, Oldman plays Commissioner Gordon in the 2 most recent Batman films: Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, as well as other roles such as Professor Snape in the Harry Potter series, etc.

While we're on the topic of Batman...

Chrisitan Bale gets arrested!

He was reportedly arrested by the police who were in turn summoned by his family following the actor pushing his mother, Jenny Bale while arguing.

The reason behind the spat is not being divulged, but it seems to involve the whole Bale clan.

More legalese!
Nintendo's Wiimote can possibly get banned in Texas due to the fact that they lost to copyright infringement claims by a company called Anascape. All Wavebirds (GameCube wireless controllers), regular GameCube pads (WTF do they have to do with it?) and the Wiimotes get banned in the US if they didn't pay.

Coincidentally, Anascape just charged Nintendo while the Wii is still printing money. If that's not called taking advantage of a situation, then I don't know what is.

Wii gets Dead Rising

It's a game that's driven by numbers- it's Dead Rising!

People say it's a great, funny survival horror game where you can use almost anything at your disposal in the mall to fight off hundreds of zombies. It'd be interesting as to how this game will fare, since the Wii is definitely a more inferior system.

Expect it to have the same graphics as Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition, since the engine running that game will run this one as well. Personally, I'm looking forward to it.

Lastly, a tragic death.
My father especially loves to import old comedies from Hong Kong. One of them is a grand little series called The Golden Girls. What's tragic is that Estelle Getty, the purportedly 80-year old mother of one of the characters of the film who in reality is younger by a year than that other actor, has died from advanced dementia at about 5:30 am.

It's a shame since her character was my favorite because she was really sarcastic- I love sarcasm!