2 French films and a third blow at the O' Connells

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

I meant to review this after we returned from America, and that's because I watched this from a plane along with the cut version of the funny musical biopic spoof Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. And to be honest, this film is a rather effective little illustration of a French Elle editor's bout with "locked-in syndrome"- a rare kind of disability in the aftermath of a stroke. This means that Jean Dominique-Bauby, the Elle editor, can't move any part of his body and has no ability to talk... except his left eye, that is. Thus, he develops a way of communication with just his left eye. A person can ask him yes or no questions, and if he blinks once it means yes, twice means no. Heck, this even led to a real book!

Now, I may have forgotten the name of the biopic's subject (I had to go to RT to check what it was), but I have not forgotten his story! To make it short, it's affecting, it's funny, it's uniquely presented yet... human.

You just can't ignore the fact that he can only see with one eye (they actually sewed his other eye permanently shut) and that such a sickness actually exists! This film provoked my thoughts about life-- and I swore I held back some tears by the time the credits rolled.

To be honest, my seat's entertainment system's audio (along with my parents') was defective so fortunately, there were subtitles. And so I wonder: How much more of a magnificent movie would this be if there was sound?

I can't say any more about this movie... It is hands-down something people should watch. It's compelling, it's deep, and frankly, I need to view it again because it's surprisingly, artfully poetic that I almost didn't understand the deeper meaning behind all the proceedings.

Watch this, now.
Rating: 10/10

Persepolis

Marjane Satrapi may not be French, but to experience this movie is to watch it in that language with English subtitles- basically at its purest, original form. But whatever language you're watching this, it will be sure to make you laugh and be awed at the kind of culture Iran had back in the day.

So this autobiographical movie starts out with Marjane's childhood. Everyone is rallying against the shah, including her rebellious parents, and most of her relatives are being detained and executed. This movie lets you find out how her life was during those hard times, and it eventually leads you to the various stages of her life until womanhood.

I won't spill any more than that, but what I have to say about this gloriously black-and-white animated film is that it certainly is not for the kiddies. Now, the fatalities of war are portrayed here subtly and artistically, but there is foul language used here and there in the otherwise well-written and naturally flowing dialogue. And despite it being black-and-white, there are scenes where a color palette is actually used, and the transition between them is astonishingly seamless.

Anyway, the movie is full of emotional depth, and the portrayal of growing up in this coming-of-age film is uniquely presented- it's unlike any other movie I've seen. It also details the impact of various trends to the conservative Iranian society and the flow just seems really natural and obviously personal. Marjane is practically opening all doors of her heart and not leaving one detail behind.

The pace is rather brisk, and it proves its point without over-dramatizing. Basically, it cuts to the chase.

But the film is not all seriousness for it has its funny moments. Heck, it has a spoof of Rocky! And the scene of her becoming a teen is utterly laugh-out-loud hilarious in its depiction!

And actually, this movie is relevant to our times. Okay, the Bee Gees may be obsolete, but we can replace that with our current trends, and the Revolution? You could put People Power. As for the Iraq-Iran war? You can put the MILF rebellion that's happening in Mindanao over that. People will be able to feel this movie- especially the ones who are embroiled in this war. They will be able to feel with Marjane's story, and that's because even if it's "merely animation", it contains a deeper meaning than many other movies currently being shown in the theaters. But of course, Persepolis isn't being shown in the theater anymore, so it's probably not right to compare this one to the movies currently showing.

But the way it ended surprised me. It just felt abrupt. You feel curious about Marjane's adventures as a grown woman, but of course, this is a coming-of-age story, so I guess it shouldn't be surprising at all.

Regardless of that, you should try and find a copy of this gem of an autobiography. It's unique, it's charming and it's deep but rather unsatisfying. Maybe it should've won the Oscar instead of Ratatouille!

Rating: 9.8/10

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Oh God, "here we go again" indeed.

Once again, we go to the lives of the O' Connell family, but this time, Alex has grown up (AS IN) but it's like Rick and Evie didn't age. Of course, Evie has become a bit less beautiful because it's not Rachel Weisz reprising the role anymore, but Mario Bello. But except Evie, the gang's all here.

But of course, there are new characters. I mean, how could they even revive Imhotep right? Well, Alex skips school and goes to China to try to find the Dragon Emperor who was cursed by a witch (Michelle Yeoh). His army was cursed with him, and now, of course, he has resurrected from the dead because of a Chinese general who thinks the ideals of freedom are not ideal for the world.

Jet Li's character's mission is now to go to the immortality water thingy that Michelle Yeoh's character is protecting, and release himself from his crummy CGI exoskeleton and revive his army.

Of course, the O' Connells are the reason of his living, and now they're trying to stop him. As usual.

Basically, the movie is just going through the paces. The proceedings have become predictable, the humor even more stale. The special effects? Ha! Don't start with me about the special effects! Now, judging for the poster, you'd think at least that the effects of this installment is for 2008, but in the movie? Not really. There are some tolerable, still believable effects, but the others aren't. The army in the war scene? Total unbelievability. Jet Li's eventual defeat? Laughable. These effects would've been more believable 5 years ago, but nope, they're iffy in today's standards, to say the least.

Anyway, the two parents are hypocrites. In Returns, they said they love Alex, but here, it's like they ignored him anyway. Alex is a downright ass, and I hate him. And his love story? Bah. There's no emotion in it whatsoever, and the relationship, even though I'm not saying that cross-racial relationships are bad, is really awkward. And come on! The logic! Movie language usually states that if you are stripped of your immortality, your age will catch up with you. Here, it's different. But hey, I could always make this point a point that's going for the movie: it doesn't follow movie convention in only this aspect! </sarcasm>

It's actually a good thing that Rachel Weisz backed out of this project, otherwise she'd succumb to my wrath. Still, if she were in this installment and she reprised her role as Evie O' Connell, maybe the movie would actually get its human emotion. Weisz is a good actress, so if she wants to make us believe that her character is truly, madly, still in love with Rick after all those years, she could. The movie could've been better with her, but she was better off without it in her resume.

The twists are rudimentary and yawn-inducing, and Jet Li is sorely underutilized. What do you see of Jet Li in this movie? A CGI statue of him, that's what. If you wanted me to count his screen time in the flesh, it would probably be as brief as Chow Yun Fat's appearance as a Singaporean pirate in Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. They could've used his wushu prowess! But noooo, nothing to exploit his skill.

"I hate mummies!," Rick says. Yeah, me too. But the mummies I hate are the movies. They all suck, but not Batman and Robin sucky. But still, this movie is at the top of the barrel of suck.

Rating: 3.3/10

REVIEWS: Rats and Unintentional Comedy

Ratatouille
Disney-Pixar
Directed by: Brad Bird
In a nutshell: Nobody has ever made a rat more lovable and compelling than Ratatouille. After watching the flick, my heart was light and filled with joy. No really.

I loved Brad Bird's other Pixar masterpiece The Incredibles and I regard him highly as a film director. His latest masterpiece- Ratatouille - is by no means different in terms of greatness- and that's great.

Story
The story starts out with our rat hero Remy (Patton Oswalt) who is born with a greater sense of smell and taste and thus, aspired to be a chef. Because of Remy's extraordinary ability, his father- boss of the rat clan- appoints him a job as poison detector. But one day, when Remy and his brother Emile go inside the house of an old lady, much chaos ensue and the clan is exposed- making them run away to find a new home.

However, the sewers weren't kind to Remy as he becomes separated from his family. So now, all he has is a book by his idol chef named Gusteau which he reads. He becomes hungry, and this forces him to hallucinate that the illustration of the chef in the book is talking to him. The chef advises him to look around, and he finds an opening to reveal that he has been under the city of lights- and food: Paris.

Then we go to the life of Linguini who is a clumsy redhead hired to be a garbage collector of the restaurant of Gusteau- which has deteriorated since the chef's death. When Remy finds the same restaurant and improve the soup that Linguini ruined because of his clumsy antics- and a food critic loved it- their fates cross and they discover a way to fulfill each other's dreams.

Slapstick antics
Pixar made excellent use of the comedic opportunities the story provided- and with perfect comic timing and panache. If you thought a person on a bicycle hitting a car is so stone age, just wait till you see the comical effect this same scene would have in this movie.

Indeed, it's truly hilarious. But not all comedy in the film is full of slapstick, and that's because the smart dialogue is also effectively funny in its jokes.

Experiencing Paris
Another technical achievement by Pixar is its 3D rendering of the city of lights- and the various aerial views of the city never cease to amaze me. It simply looks stunning, eye-popping even. I mean, it's probably the best animated portrayal of France I've ever seen because it's bustling and realistic.

The food being prepared in the kitchen is also really mouth-watering, and during the course of the movie I just wanted to EAT SOMETHING! GAH!

Obviously, if you haven't gotten my point yet, the look of the film is very much superior. Even the human characters look better than ever, and Pixar finally perfected fur!

Cuddly... rats?!
People hate rats- except for hamsters- and that's a fact.

But after watching this movie- oh my God- I don't want to hate them anymore. Who knows who you're killing? It might be Remy's real-life counterpart!

But sarcasm aside, the movie really made me love Remy, but not exactly love all rats in general. I don't know, but it oozes some kind of charm despite the fact that the protagonist is a rodent people love killing- especially if it's in the kitchen. I mean, you just want to hug the rat and squeeze it until it dies with love! LOL.

Message
Pixar definitely got its message subtly across. And among other messages, the one that stands out is the foundation of the movie itself: "Dreams can come true no matter how impossible.". You know, Chef Gusteau's book title ("Anyone Can Cook") has that meaning when thought about deeper.

I mean, I know that message is so cliche. I mean, since Pinocchio, many Disney films have geared toward that moral and it became tired when other studios tackled the theme. But here, it's just really, really affecting.

Balance
Putting the movie in synopsis form is rather taxing, and that's because in the inside, when you flesh the thing out, you'll find that it's actually a pretty complex balance of conflicts Remy- and Pixar- have to contend. And the balancing act they do beautifully as people manage to get how Remy balances the act of being one step closer to achieving his dream, all the while constantly wanting to make his father proud and abide by family values. I mean, whew! The thing's really a tough act to follow!

Overall
I'm glad that I finally got to watch Ratatouille! And I guess waiting for almost a year after its initial release was still worth the wait. You probably already know how I'll rate this film, so I need not summarize everything for you because it's so good, it should've been inside the category of "Best Picture" in the Oscars months ago.

Rating: 10/10

The Forbidden Kingdom
Lionsgate
Directed by: Robert Minkoff
In a nutshell: The film has a story based from a real Chinese legend- but that doesn't stop them from making unintentionally laugh-out-loud sequences. Action scenes are expertly choreographed however, so action junkies wouldn't want to miss this.

Obviously, this is the movie that pairs Jackie Chan and Jet Li for the first time in cinema history. But are they worth the price of admission?

Story
The movie starts out with this teenager who seems to have an affinity for Hong Kong Kung Fu movies. (So yeah, there are Bruce Lee jokes involved in the later scenes.) He goes to the pawnshop of an old man and sees this golden staff. And this staff takes him back to the past into the legend of the West. And oh my God, the transition between modern day and Chinese history was so unintentionally funny because the teenager falls from the top of a building- and he does so to very cheesy effect.

Moving on, the boy "lands" into a Chinese village which is attacked by the Warlord's soldiers. The boy manages to escape because of a drunken master (Jackie Chan) who they later learn is immortal.

They also encounter the generic pretty Chinese girl (every movie should have that!) who is coincidentally good with jade darts and whatnot as well as a monk in white (Jet Li).

But exactly what role does the staff play anyway? Well, it's actually the weapon of the Monkey King who gets into a duel with the aforementioned Warlord. Yes, the Monkey King was on a roll, but he was too trusting and was tricked into thinking they were gonna have hand-on-hand combat. So when the Monkey King was about to turn into stone, he couldn't possibly at least give the Warlord the staff, and so he sends it someplace so it can wait until the "chosen one" comes out.

Now you can piece the things up together by yourself and answer as to why the American teenager was transported to the past by the staff anyway.

Why Jackie Chan hates the film
In an interview back then, Jackie Chan vocally announced that he "didn't like the film"- and for good reason: the plot is so stupid, you can predict everything that'll happen next.

You'd probably know that the boy would be able to release the Monkey King from his stoned state (WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THE WARLORD DESTROY THE STATUE-FIED MONKEY KING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!), or that Jackie Chan or Jet Li would fight and stuff, or that the American boy would probably fall in love with the Chinese girl. It's all familiar, and it all feels derivative- like it's been done before.

Saving grace
The movie's saving grace, however, is the real stars of the show namely, Jackie Chan and Jet Li, and that's because they get to do what they do best: FIGHT. And those fights are choreographed so well, you will probably not mind about the stupid story- and not care for the American who "just wants to go home".

Forgettable
Hell, even in the review I already forgot their names!!! But the only unforgettable thing about this film is the white-haired lady! Boy, did she make me and my siblings laugh unintentionally!

Unintentionally funny
I found the movie so bad it was funny, which is why I'd rate it higher than it should. That's the thing that provided me a lot of entertainment (besides the action scenes): the laughs! What makes them more entertaining is that they're uncalled for!

If you've watched this film, however, it'd probably be hard to take things seriously, and that's because there's an American amidst the Chinese setting! Maybe that's why I couldn't appreciate Tom Cruise's The Last Samurai! God, when are people gonna learn?

Scenes to look out for include the cheesy fight scene featuring the Monkey King (which I forgot to mention is also Jet Li) complete with very cheesy effects (you know that running in the air thing), the fall of the American teenager from the building (the "AAAAAHHH!" accompanied with the bad acting makes it HILARIOUS), the way the White Haired Lady's hair is able to grow and whip stuff (talk about excellent shampoo!) and a lot more along the journey.

Overall
It's hard to take this film seriously, and worse, it has a bad plot. But Jackie Chan and Jet Li save it from mediocre territory because of their excellent fighting prowess and great kung fu choreography courtesy of Yuen Wo Ping.

Basically, it's one of those movies that you'll likely consider a guilty pleasure, and nothing more.

Rating: 6.5/10